非誠勿擾之app版-2

Sa 發表於 2013-05-26 12:26
分類: 分類能不能--小博主專欄

文/小博主

時間拉回到十年前左右,網路開始全面進駐現代人的社交生活,當時部落格(博)蔚為一時風潮。

彼時我搭上了這股流行,也在虛擬世界裡築起了自己的一個小天地。幸運地,透過那小小世界裡的書寫,召喚了一些訪客,送往迎來。漸漸,許多網友進化為現實生活中的重要朋友。這樣,使我相信的確存在著一個可以溝通、可以相互理解的世界。

是以,當智慧型手機及平板電腦將人際網路化催化得更臻極致,我也抱持著好奇探索的心情,加入了app交友的行列。

孰知,從小王子的世界,一腳跨進……虛擬世界中的索多瑪城?

在經過前篇那般匪夷所思的經歷之後,我很快修正了一下對app交友的認識:匿名性+即時性+GPS定位,這三者構成了一個舒適的溫床,激化了人類最原始慾望──也就是「性」。

不負責之田野學家對於網男所做的歸類如下:

A. 開門見山型:望文生義,就是省去任何認識、問候的過程……可謂「性」口合一的極致;通常立馬(談話不超過5句)就要邀約出去的也屬於這型(反正定位系統顯示你們相隔不過數百公尺)。不過因為太直白、甚至粗暴,所以也沒啥好說的。

B. 迂迴試探型:這類男性一開始會友好地問候,早晚噓寒問暖問吃飽了沒,彷彿真的是交朋友般的關懷。但是過不了多久,必然會開始釋出試探的訊息:

例1:傳來一篇有關數字的心理測驗,要你選其中一組數字,然後再把所有不同組的數字解釋傳給你,並跟你說他的數字是哪個,其解釋恰恰好一定跟性慾有關……之類的;

例2:說最近吃了很多蚵、很多海鮮,太補了快滿出來……等;

例3:為了回敬你分享的一曲「A Rainy Night In Paris」,他傳來「Thank You Very Much」一歌的連結,說是很有趣的MV……

例4:直言不諱自己對熟女很有感覺,曾交往年齡可以當他母親的大姐姐,順便誇獎一下對方床上功夫……等等。

這類男性的試探有時會讓我拍案叫絕,並忍不住回應裝傻以逗弄一番。不過基於博主可能真會把本系列歸入18禁,對話細節就先略過。

C. 不想被歸類型:這樣的男性往往是聰明、敏銳的,擅長偵測女性的狀態。在這段為期短暫的田野探險中,竟也巧遇這樣一位教練級的人物:風趣、聰明、自信、歷練、高專業、良好的社會與經濟地位。和其談話是少見的有趣。

在一來一往的對話中,他描述自己和不同女性對話時,會依對方狀態而調整自己的「模式」,這立刻引發了我的好奇……

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